When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
