But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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