she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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