Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize