he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
