Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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