it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
