Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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