That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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