I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
