i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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