I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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