is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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