I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I love having hate sex.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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