i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
this will be a night to untag.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
