i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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