she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
