My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is Oprah even human
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
