You were right. It hurts to walk today.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
