Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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