It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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