Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
