mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
