i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
