He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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