Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
