is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
