I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
