he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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