i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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