do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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