One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
my poor anus
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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