the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
