he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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