Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize