she was so not down for the gang bang
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
