Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just want to make out with him forever
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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