Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
