i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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