Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
