i don't like sucking hair
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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