dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
