There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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