Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize