fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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