All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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