Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
