No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
