you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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