I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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