He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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