She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You have to summon your inner elephant
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
