You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
