The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
