garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
