If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
