belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
