are you still at the devil's house?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
