you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
