508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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