No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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