Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
