You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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