Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
