sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
They have beer where we have blood.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
