I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
