I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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