she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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